Posted by: NotAScientist | January 14, 2009

I wish I had gay parents!

Okay, so maybe I should rethink this for a minute.

threemenandababy

Bad 80’s movies aside, I think I should stand by that statement. I wish I had gay parents.

Er…well…let me try again.

I don’t WISH I had gay parents. I love my parents. They aren’t perfect, and they are now divorced. But they are kind and caring and understanding, and they helped me grow up to be the person I am today. Which may or may not indicate that they did a decent job.

So I don’t wish my parents had been gay. But looking back, I don’t think I would have minded it one bit.

In fact, I think I would have turned out just as good or even better had I been raised by two married (or as good as married) men or women.

Why?

The simple fact that a homosexual couple cannot have a child by accident.

A gay couple can’t accidentally get pregnant. They can’t have a child when they don’t think they’re ready. They can’t have a child when their finances are barely enough to support themselves.

When a gay couple has a child, it is done after much thought and consideration. Not because gay people are more thoughtful or more considerate, but because they have no other choice.

A gay couple is like a couple who adopts. They may not be perfect, but you know for certain that they have children because they wanted them and planned for it.

But of course, many of our religious friends have a different opinion.

What do you think?

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Responses

  1. A very excellent point. I don’t even have to add anything.

    Unfortunately, this will result in a flame war for soon enough…

  2. I think if more people had gay parents, at least men, there would be a lot of better dressers in our world… 🙂

    Probably a lot more cabarets and park sex as well. lol.

  3. I have to agree with Mr. Astley above me; you made a very good point that can’t be refuted really.

  4. thats a great way to look at this Morse. I think if more people thought this way- we’d probably have made gay marriage legal.

  5. I appreciate your post to my blog earlier today. It’s true there are a lot of messed up marriages, producing a lot of messed up people.

    That doesn’t make it right, it just makes it messed up. God or no God, everyone should have the opportunity to enjoy a quality of life they were designed for.

    God bless,
    archie

  6. Logically, the only statement that can be agreed upon is that the gay parents would have had to put thought into having children. That has no bearing on whether they will be good parents or not.

    I would submit that heterosexual people don’t have babies by accident either. There is an understanding of what causes babies AND that most contraceptives are not foolproof. Unplanned or undesired results I will give you, but not accidental. In either case, can you logically conclude which parents will be better?

    You could argue your opinion but until there are tests by which to objectively measure results, who knows?

    I would also submit that MOTIVATION for wanting children is more important than the fact that a couple WANTS the child. That would be true of gay or straight parents.

    Your statment:
    “But of course, many of our religious friends have a different opinion.”

    Isn’t connected to the point you are raising. You are basically saying that gay people would be better parents because they wanted the child. What about straight people who are sterile? They want children, too, for the same reasons as the gay couple. Your argument has not raised a question of morality, ethics, or religion, so I am not sure why you made the statement about ‘religious friends’ except to make an unconnected dig at them.

  7. I don’t see any issue with making an unconnected dig at anti-gay bigots..

  8. Sisyphus,

    Would you see an issue with a religious person making an unnecessary dig at a person who lived an alternative lifestyle?

    I find it interesting that people on either side of the line will feel its ok to make disparaging remarks about the other and feel that they are in “their rights” to do so.

    Nothing changes until we do.

  9. “Unplanned or undesired results I will give you, but not accidental”

    Oh *snigger* ok then. Let’s just pretend that those three words aren’t synonymous fror the time being.

    “Logically, the only statement that can be agreed upon is that the gay parents would have had to put thought into having children. That has no bearing on whether they will be good parents or not.”

    Isn’t that kind of like saying that you won’t Necessarily be injured if your in a car crash and you aren’t wearing a seat belt?

    I would also submit that MOTIVATION for wanting children is more important than the fact that a couple WANTS the child. That would be true of gay or straight parents.

    Yes, becasue Gay people are really going to become CEO’s and Powerful political figures if they adopt. It’s all part of thier nefarious plot…

    Even giving you this point, that’s a supportive thing to say about Gay paranting, as opposed to heterosexual couples where “I want a baby” seems ample justification.

    Well, homosexuality will have its day once again, and sooner now that there’s a President who won’t try to herd the demographic like cattle. The whole “I wouldn’t change the deffinition of marraige.” thing isn’t really up for him to decide. That’s a constitutional issue that will more likely than not be settled in the courts. And it really is a movemet where if you aren’t against them, you are for them. It’s a social trend. The only way to keep it from happening is to put obstacles in its path. I think this is obvious to our President Elect.

    But enough about politics.
    I don’t see any problem with making a dig at intolerance. Hell, our Man of the Day (Monday) was rather famous for making diggs at the courage and moral constitution of his religious fellows…

  10. “Oh *snigger* ok then. Let’s just pretend that those three words aren’t synonymous fror the time being.”

    Snigger all you like, it doesn’t change the fact that people refer to pregnancies as ‘accidents’ in the same manner that I would refer to getting black on the roulette wheel when I had bet on red. If I hadn’t wanted to lose my money I could have simply not played.

    When a man and a woman copulate (even using contraceptives) one of the possibilities that they are aware of is pregnancy. When the test comes back positive, I would submit that it was undesirable – not an accident.

    You don’t have to agree with my definition. But maybe you will get more respect from people if you handle your responses in a mature manner.

    “Yes, becasue Gay people are really going to become CEO’s and Powerful political figures if they adopt. It’s all part of thier nefarious plot…

    Even giving you this point, that’s a supportive thing to say about Gay paranting, as opposed to heterosexual couples where “I want a baby” seems ample justification. ”

    Wanting a baby for the RIGHT reasons is always supportive for whoever is desiring to have a family. That is not the discussion here. If a gay couple were motivated to adopt a child because they want to thumb their noses at the religious group, would that be a good motivation for adopting? If a straight couple wants to adopt because they think it will hold their marriage together, is that any more correct? NO on both accounts. Desiring something isn’t the end-all of making a good argument for supporting who would be better parents. We would all agree that desiring to have children because you want to enjoy the miracles that they are is foundational to being a good parent whether you are gay or straight. However, it doesn’t mean that once you become a parent that you will be a good one.

    “I don’t see any problem with making a dig at intolerance. Hell, our Man of the Day (Monday) was rather famous for making diggs at the courage and moral constitution of his religious fellows…”

    I love that you said this. People are always going about bashing this ‘intolerant’ group or disparaging this other because they find them ‘bigoted’ or ‘self-serving’. When they do this, they should look in the mirror because they are also practicing intolerance, bigotry, and self-service. Isn’t it funny that when its something we agree with that its the ‘right’ thing and everybody else is wrong and close-minded.

    This post proposed nothing about morality, ethics, or religion when discussing the ability of gay parents to be better parents solely based on their WANTING children. Based on that, the statement about religious people disagreeing with Chris, doesn’t make sense. All types of people may disagree with Chris – to point out only the religious crowd was illogical based on the premise of this post.

    I would be one of the people who would be lumped into the ‘religious’ crowd. I would agree with Chris that WANTING to have a child is a better start to being a good parent than NOT WANTING the child. But that is not the only measure to being a good parent. Parenting is so much more complex than whether you wanted the child or not. I know because I am a parent. My first daughter wasn’t planned but that doesn’t make her an accident or unwanted. My wife and I were just letting things happen naturally, meaning we weren’t ‘trying’ for a child at the time she became pregnant but we both wanted children when we got married. So the ‘unplanned’ pregnancy was a blessing to us. She was no accident… we know how she got here.

    I have read your comments here and other places and I understand that you are one of those types that just likes to stir the pot. If Chris chooses to write a post about the ethics or politics of gay marriage and adoption, you should comment on it. Those comments in this discussion are logically unrelated and have no bearing.

    So what is your motivation for bringing them into this one? *snigger* I already know.

  11. “When a man and a woman copulate (even using contraceptives) one of the possibilities that they are aware of is pregnancy. When the test comes back positive, I would submit that it was undesirable – not an accident. ”

    You’re an idiot if you think these people didn’t already know that.

    “If a gay couple were motivated to adopt a child because they want to thumb their noses at the religious group, would that be a good motivation for adopting?”

    and you automatically assume that gay couples can’t be reigious as well? Besides, children as a sign of posterity is entirely an incredibly antiquated thought process. Doing it to try and assume a nominal part in a functioning society- which IS considered to be spite by the people who stand in thier way- see interracial marraiges circa 1960.

    “We would all agree that desiring to have children because you want to enjoy the miracles that they are is foundational to being a good parent whether you are gay or straight. However, it doesn’t mean that once you become a parent that you will be a good one.”

    So they aren’t even allowed to try based on the possibility that they might fail? So any person who is in any way disadvantaged to having children ought to never be allowed to procreate in your mind, either biologically or by adoption. Your conclusion is a complete non-sequiter and belies your homophobia and bigotry.

    “Isn’t it funny that when its something we agree with that its the ‘right’ thing and everybody else is wrong and close-minded.”

    Your right. Freedom ought to be alloted according to whether or not a person is a Anglo-European landholding male or not. Plus projection. Intolerating intolerance isn’t intolerance. It is justice. Thank you for never once reading Dr. King’s letter while he was in Burmingham Jail.

    Besides, i Never saw anything that Morsec0de wrote that stated “desire is the foundation of good parenting” or extolling good intentions. “Careful consideration” and “planned for it” i did see, but you didn’t. Gee, i wonder if it’s becasue you came here with a different pre-formed opinion?

    Who the hell is chris?

  12. Rick,

    Chris is the gentleman that runs this blog.

    And, I am afraid, that this will be the last discourse that I will hold with you.

    Respectfully

  13. You are afraid? Honest, i’ll give you that. But it seems that you have nothing to say when you are confronted with history and humanity. Now why would that be?

    Hmmm.

    Sorry to see you go Tony. It was a good run, while it lasted.

  14. This was a CUTE movie that was BIGTIME- how old are you anyway?? Like ANY move now even comes CLOSE to then is SAC RELIG

  15. As an adoptive parent who happens to be lesbian, I shake my head in amazement when people want to deny good homes to children on the basis of sexuality.

    There are quite a few states that don’t allow gay/lesbians to adopt while thousands of children languish in the foster care system. Unfortunately, I know this from first hand experience.

    I hope in time this will all change.

  16. it will, when religion in this country finally dies. My heart goes out to you J

  17. ioncredible.. when ‘religion’ finally dies. wow- lets do away with free speech too.
    Jesus=freedom, liberty and justice.
    You want it GONE.
    INCREDIBLE that people DARE to call themselves AMERICANS anymore.

  18. I have to disagree. You can’t get any better than a loving father and mother who wanted children (whether through birth or adoption).

    Having said that, your point about adoption reminds me of my relationship with God. I think it’s cool that His desire is to adopt us into His family. It’s no accident or undesired result.

  19. “I have to disagree.”

    Sorry, but the statistics disagree with you.

  20. I find the gist of this article quite funny from the beginning. A gay couple can’t “have” a child at all. So the entire topic is based on some ridiculous concept that caring for a child is “having” a child.

    And obviously that is as scientifically ridiculous as the rest of the post.

    This topic has nothing to do with religion. A gay couple may be just as qualified to raise a child as a straight couple, or more so. But to compare a heterosexual couple, “having” a child to the adoption process of a homosexual couple borderlines on the absurd.

    I don’t know what statistics you’re referring to, but I would simply respond to that with skepticism, as inferential statistics was never designed a tool to find causal relationships, but serve as correlative evidence. Perhaps some variable exists outside their model that suggests why gay couples are “better” at raising children, and the fact that they are gay has nothing to do with it at all.

  21. You don’t, it’s terrible. I’m dating a guy who is 100% against that and I love him a lot but I feel like I have to lie to him about it . If I tell him now I know he would leave me because of my parents and/or lying to him for 3 years. But I liked from the beginning and if I told him, I was scared he wouldn’t wanna talk to me. I’m in this sticky situation and having gay parents has lots of hardships. I’m constantly having to lie & cover up with my friends too.


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