Posted by: NotAScientist | August 24, 2008

Catholic Voodoo…

We all know that the market right now is horrible for selling homes. Examples abound of people having to sell their houses for significantly less than they bought them.

Are you having difficulties selling your home? Has your house been on the market for weeks and weeks with no real offers? Are you likely to believe in anything you’re told? Well than I have the solution for you!

Catholic Voodoo!

The solemn tradition of burying St. Joseph in the earth began hundreds of years ago in Europe. During those times, an order of nuns prayed to St. Joseph (the patron saint of the family and household needs) when they needed more lands for convents. The Sisters were encouraged to bury their St. Joseph medals in the ground.The medals evolved into statues, culminaing with the complete “Underground Real Estate Agent” Kit currently available. Today, thousands of homesellers and real estate agents nationwide continue this successful tradition; they are looking for a little divine intervention.

The St. Joseph Statue “The Underground Real Estate Agent” Kit was developed to assist you in continuing this tradition. The kit contains everything thing you need to successfully bury your own St. Joseph Statue. Be it fact or be it fiction, it’s worked more than once.


Er…well…they don’t call it that, but it’s essentially what it is.

They advertise statues that you can buy and bury in your yard, and somehow that will help you sell your house. It is just me, or does this seem like some sort of magic spell?

But we already knew that Catholics priests practice magic. They wave their hands over bread and wine to turn it into blood and flesh. They do some more hand waving to give things luck and other positive attributes, called blessings.

Like all magic, however, none of this actually does anything.

The same is true with the St. Joseph Statue. It’s a perfect example of counting the hits and ignoring the misses. If you bury this statue and your house ends up selling, you’ll attribute it to the magic statue. If you don’t sell your home, however, you won’t go and tell anyone about.

The brilliance of this scam is that the vast majority of people eventually succeed in selling their houses. So of course it will work.

Just like the magic stone I own keeps elephants off my front yard.



  1. You have an Impenetrable Defence In [case] Of Elephant Device too? Fantastic! I just use ID-ten-T spray, keeps elephants, leopards, and mormons off of my front yard.

  2. What happens if I’m not trying to sell my house but the crazy people I brought it from left the buried statues (now my property) behind? Will I be constantly harrassed by strangers trying to buy my house? People never think of these things when they mess with Catholic Voodoo Magic (TM). Luckily I have an anti magic rock that completely neutralises magic in a 60 foot radius. When presented forcefully it can even drive away practitioners of magic, particularly those who try to sell Watchtower spell books.

  3. Take it from someone living in a country that is/used to be predominantly Catholic; there is a lot of voodoo going on. Ever heard of those statues you’re supposed to knock the heads off of?

  4. what about headless statues?

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